It feels counterintuitive, but connecting with others can actually save you time and angst in the long run. Making time for those around you can seem like an impossible task, even for the most outgoing physicians, if you're struggling to be productive within the confines of a tight schedule. Noticing our environment is a crucial skill for building EQ, and you can practice it through intentional mindfulness, taking your attention off your phone and tuning into both the context and the content of the group interaction. Have you ever been sitting with your team, deep in discussion, when one of your colleagues walks in the room with great fanfare and total disregard for what's going on? The energy shifts in a palpable and awkward way. It's easy to get stuck in your own head and not pay much attention to the world around you. 7 Emotionally intelligent people are open about their weaknesses, willing to change course, and quick to admit “I don't know.” (They also know the difference between healthy vulnerability and over-sharing.) Further, they are willing to put themselves in the ring, show enthusiasm, and motivate others with an inspiring vision. Researcher and scholar Brené Brown, PhD, contends that vulnerability about our struggles is not only the great equalizer but the seed where strength is born. Curious people pause before reacting or making assumptions and instead ask questions to better understand the other person's experience and perspective.Ĭreate space for all emotions, not just the pretty ones. However, cultivating your curiosity is one of the best strategies for building empathy for yourself and others. Curiosity is a difficult mindset to have, particularly as we get older, wiser, and more confident in our beliefs, judgments, and opinions. 6 Instead, learn to center yourself by simply taking three “nose to toes” breaths between patients, during a meeting, or before logging onto the electronic health record.Įmotionally intelligent people are open about their weaknesses, willing to change course, and quick to admit “I don't know.” While there is science behind building a ritual of deep breathing to lower overall stress, you can't usually lie down in an exam room to escape the stress of the day. Pausing for just a few seconds before you respond to a stressful situation can often help you gain control over your emotions before you say or do something you might later regret. Paying attention to your emotions can help you identify and address these issues. For example, you may be feeling frustrated because a broken process is leading to rework, or you may be feeling stressed because you need to set limits with someone. Often our emotions point us to an issue that needs to be addressed. Then, consider why you are feeling that way. Before walking into clinic and throughout the day, ask yourself “How do I feel?” and clarify both the physiological answer (e.g., “My shoulders feel tight”) and the emotional answer (e.g., “I feel anxious”). For instance, when traffic is slow, the cell phone company messes up your bill for the fourth time, or the neighbor's cat ruins your flower bed, what happens to your face, your chest, and your stomach? Noticing your emotions and how your body reacts to them can help you better manage your stressors at work. However, be careful that you don't ignore or suppress your emotional side or downplay the mind-body connection. Physicians are rewarded for their cognitive intellect, so it's no surprise that you value the brain that got you here. A little daily self-care will help build your capacity for EQ. Despite your best intentions, you may struggle to control your emotions if you are tired, skipped lunch, haven't exercised all week, or are over-caffeinated. Examples include “I need to build understanding today,” “I need to remain calm,” “I need to provide clarity,” or “I need to be light-hearted.” Once you've identified your intention, you can begin to align your actions to it. As you travel to work, sit in silence and ask yourself, “What intention do I have for today?” Avoid the urge to make a to-do list, and instead consider what you need to be more intentional about given what is on your schedule. A daily practice that can help build EQ is clarifying your intention.
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